What If We Are Wrong ?

The other night I attended a conversation at the Sydney Writers Festival with Sarah Wilson discussing her latest book. The conversation centred around what she, and many others see, as the likely decline, and possibly eventual collapse, of many of the systems and structures that underpin modern civilisation over the next 30 to 70 years.

It's obviously a confronting topic. At times quite depressing even. But strangely, underneath some of the heavier themes, there was also something about the conversation that felt oddly liberating.

Toward the end of the conversation the moderator asked Sarah a simple question.

"What if you are wrong?"

She paused for a moment and said something along the lines of….. "Well, I really hope I'm wrong. But I don't think so. And anyway, aren't all the changes in how we live that we've talked about, the best way to live anyway?"

So I've been thinking a lot about that exchange ever since. Not so much about the answer, which was fine, but because the question itself feels very important. What if we are wrong about many of the ways we are currently living? What if the pace so many of us are moving at isn't really sustainable? And what if constantly pushing, consuming, reacting and optimising isn't actually making us happier, wiser or more connected?

And what if we don't always need to defend ourselves so aggressively?

It feels to me like modern life increasingly rewards certainty. Have strong opinions, rapid fire takes on social, and absolute confidence in whatever it might be. Somewhere along the way, many of us have started performing that certainty rather than actually feeling it. We dig in and we defend our ground and we project. Not always because we're sure, but because sometimes just because stopping to question feels like weakness.

But here’s the thing…..the wisest people I know don't actually feel like that to be around.

They still have strong values and principles, and in many ways stronger ones. They care deeply about the things that matter. But they also seem less attached to needing to win every argument or prove themselves all the time. There's more openness there, more listening and more curiosity. These people are more willing to allow things to unfold and to let life shape and deepen them.

I think there's a difference between having deep convictions and becoming rigidly identified with them. And maybe part of maturity is becoming less interested in defending ourselves constantly and more interested in living well.

I'm certainly not suggesting we shouldn't stand for things. Principles matter. Integrity matters. The way we treat people matters deeply. But so does humility and the ability to stay open. To occasionally stop and ask ourselves whether the life we are building is actually taking us where we had hoped.

I left the theatre that night thinking not just about the potential collapse of civilisation, but also about the quieter question underneath it all.

What if some of the things we are chasing and defending so hard aren't actually the point anyway? And what if occasionally asking "what if I'm wrong?" is not weakness at all.

What if it's part of wisdom?

Paul

P.S. If any of this struck a chord with you, it’s the kind of work I do in my coaching. I help people find the clarity and courage to speak up, make better choices, and create the conditions for a life that feels more aligned. If you’ve been sitting on something you want to shift, I’d love to have a conversation.

You can find more information as well as testimonials from former and current clients, on my website… www.paulcheika.com

You can contact me there, via LinkedIn or you can email me at paul@paulcheika.com