Everyone Is Talking About Parts
So… are we the sum of our parts?
For a long time, I probably would’ve said yes. It made sense.
We’re shaped by our experiences, our habits, our stories, and by all the things we’ve done and all the things that have happened to us.
But over the last few years, particularly through my training with Aletheia, I’ve started to see it differently. And it’s changed the way I understand myself. It’s also changed how I work with others. Because if we believe we’re only the sum of our parts, we can easily end up stuck:
Stuck in old patterns
Stuck in identities that once served us, but now hold us back
Stuck in the exhausting loop of trying to fix or perfect ourselves
You might’ve heard people talk about “parts work” lately….it’s the idea that we all have different sides of ourselves that show up in different situations. A part that wants to take the leap, and another part that’s scared stiff. A part that pushes hard, and one that quietly pulls back. These parts often have good intentions….they’re usually just trying to protect us….but they don’t always agree with each other. And that can make change feel messy or stuck.
We all have parts of us that don’t want to change.
Not because we’re weak or lazy. But because some part of us is trying to keep us safe. These parts aren’t theoretical. They’re felt:
The part that second-guesses before speaking up
The part that stays quiet rather than risk rejection
The part that pushes harder….because it’s terrified of not being enough
Or the part that holds back….because it’s afraid of being too much
These parts aren’t the enemy. They’re trying to protect something….often something we learned to guard a long time ago. And when those parts surface, our first instinct is usually to push them away:
“I shouldn’t feel this way.”
“I just need to be stronger.”
“If I work harder, I’ll get through it.”
So many of us know this internal dialogue. But what I’m learning, through experience, reflection, and coaching conversations….is this:
Real change doesn’t begin with force. It begins with acceptance.
Not with gritting through. Not by silencing the parts we don’t like.
But by turning toward them with curiosity and compassion, and asking:
What are you protecting?
What story are you still holding?
How might I move forward with you….not against you?
And that’s the heart of what I now think of as living an Unconsumable life:
Not being driven by the parts of us we haven’t faced.
Not being consumed by outdated fears.
Not being trapped in identities that no longer reflect who we’re becoming.
But instead, living a life that can hold all of us….with more wholeness and intention. Because we’re not just the sum of our parts. We’re also the awareness that can hold them. And when we meet ourselves in that place, fully and honestly, change becomes something else entirely. It becomes:
Less of a battle
More of a release
More sustainable
More aligned
That’s the kind of work I keep doing in my own life….and it’s one part of the of the work I offer my clients. If any of this resonates, or if you’re navigating a change and want to explore it more deeply, I’d love to have a conversation.