Maybe Tomorrow……My Ongoing Negotiation with Resistance !
Many of us know the feeling, the quiet pull to delay what matters most. That subtle, persistent whisper, a force that says not today, maybe tomorrow.
Recently a client spoke to me about Steven Pressfield. In his book The War of Art, Pressfield calls this force Resistance. He describes it as the invisible enemy of creativity, progress, and purpose. As a universal energy that rises precisely when we’re about to do something important. He writes that the closer an action is to our soul’s evolution, the more resistance we will feel toward it. In other words, what we resist most often points us directly to the work that will be most important for us.
His advice is simple…do the work. Sit down, start, and keep going whether you feel like it or not. Now there’s a lot of truth in that. Showing up consistently is essential. But after years of coaching people…and years of wrestling with my own resistance…I’ve learned that “just do it” isn’t always the full story. For many people, resistance isn’t a lack of willpower or discipline. It’s something more layered, more human.
I’ve worked with plenty of people who are hardworking, capable, and committed. They don’t lack drive. But for some of us, sometimes, no matter how much we push, something still holds us back. It’s not laziness, it’s a quiet inner resistance that seems to protect us from moving forward. Beneath it, there’s often a deeper story….an old fear, a memory, a belief that was once useful but no longer fits. It might be a fear of judgment, a fear of failure, or even a fear of being seen fully. So rather than treating resistance as an enemy to defeat, I’ve come to see it as a signal to be listened to…a message that says, “I’m kind of scared of what comes next.”
That doesn’t mean giving in. It actually means listening in more closely. When I feel resistance now, I don’t ask, “How do I crush this?” I ask, “What’s this trying to protect?” That question changes everything. It turns a fight into a conversation. Often, what we find beneath the surface isn’t weakness but self-protection. Resistance can be a part of us that learned long ago to play small because that was safer, to stay quiet because that was acceptable, or to avoid change because change once hurt.
This is where deeper work begins. In coaching, especially the Aletheia-informed kind, we create space to meet those inner parts with curiosity, not force. The goal isn’t to overpower them, it’s to understand their purpose. Because once you see what resistance is guarding, it begins to loosen its grip. You don’t break it, you integrate it. Real movement happens not through willpower but through attunement — creating the inner conditions for the change to unfold.
Pressfield says that the thing most important for your soul will bring the most resistance. I’d add, that’s because it threatens the identity you’ve been living inside. When you start to write the book, launch the business, or speak the truth, you’re not just changing what you do, you’re changing who you believe yourself to be. The old self fights for survival, and that’s what we feel as resistance. It’s the friction of transformation and the discomfort that comes from stepping out of the familiar.
Pressfield describes this as a war…artist versus saboteur, self versus self. I’m trying to think of it more as a dialogue. What if resistance isn’t the monster at the gate but the child behind it, hesitant, unsure, asking to be included rather than defeated ? Instead of tightening our grip, we can soften and we can listen. Because freedom doesn’t come from overpowering yourself; it comes from working with yourself. When you stop fighting the resistance, you begin to understand it. When you understand it, it starts to move with you.
In my own life, and in my coaching work, I’ve seen a few practices that help. Start by decluttering your environment and your mind. Resistance feeds on noise and chaos. Simplify the day by choosing your “Daily Top 3”….three meaningful actions that move things forward, even slightly. Notice hesitation when it arises and get curious about what sits beneath it. Don’t rush to fix it. Awareness itself often releases the tension. And finally, recognise resistance as a sign. It usually points toward what matters most. The greater the resistance, the greater the potential for growth on the other side.
Resistance isn’t going away. It’s part of being human. But we do get to choose how we meet it. When it shows up, take a breath. Don’t fight. Don’t flee. Just ask, “What part of me is afraid of what’s on the other side of this?” That single question can turn resistance from a wall into a doorway.
Every time we step through that doorway, whether in work, creativity, or life, we meet a new version of ourselves waiting patiently on the other side. And maybe that’s the real purpose of resistance: to make sure we don’t walk through too quickly, to ensure we grow enough to meet what’s waiting for us.
So if resistance has been showing up for you lately, in your work, your relationships, or within yourself, then consider it a sign you’re close to something real. Don’t try to push past it. Listen to it. Let it tell you what it’s afraid of. Then, when you’re ready, begin.
Paul
P.S. If this struck a chord with you, it’s exactly the kind of work I do in my coaching. I help people find the clarity and courage to speak up, make better choices, and create the conditions for a life that feels more aligned. If you’ve been sitting on something you want to shift, I’d love to have a conversation.
P.S. If this struck a chord with you, it’s exactly the kind of work I do in my coaching. I help people find the clarity and courage to speak up, make better choices, and create the conditions for a life that feels more aligned. If you’ve been sitting on something you want to shift, I’d love to have a conversation.